Tetticubrat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ill-tempered slug.

Tetticubrat created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tetticubrat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tetticubrat, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Tetticubrat's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Tetticubrat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tetticubrat in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think ill of sick gulls.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tetticubrat.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing brown ear rings and balancing three silver spheres on your arms.