Mumpasbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, prudent wolf.

Mumpasbiss created dark energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Mumpasbiss, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mumpasbiss, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Mumpasbiss' most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Mumpasbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate birds.

4. Never mention mites.

5. Always pray immersed in water.