Gamhivnad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate gerbil.

Gamhivnad created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamhivnad, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gamhivnad, he will strike you with lightening.

Gamhivnad's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gamhivnad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Put Gamhivnad first in all things.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near nematodes while wearing orange shirts and balancing four tin spheres on your arms.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.