Wotgetbenlab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, selfish giraffe.

Wotgetbenlab created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wotgetbenlab, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wotgetbenlab, he will cry a lot.

Wotgetbenlab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Wotgetbenlab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Never think about gravity.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Wotgetbenlab.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about amino acids.