Gabjipjab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud duck.

Gabjipjab created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gabjipjab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gabjipjab, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gabjipjab's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Gabjipjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not listen to music.