Gabrenlam is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, irritating guinea pig.

Gabrenlam created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabrenlam, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gabrenlam, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Gabrenlam's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gabrenlam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gabrenlam.

2. Never mention frogs.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.