Jonwipdid is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, compassionate crow.

Jonwipdid created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonwipdid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonwipdid, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jonwipdid's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jonwipdid's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Jonwipdid seven times a day.

2. Never talk about optics near gulls while wearing pink trousers and balancing four silver spheres on your back.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Fast once a month.