Cinnakzig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, intelligent owl.

Cinnakzig created the Cigar Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinnakzig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cinnakzig, he will laugh at you.

Cinnakzig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Cinnakzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Cinnakzig's priests.

2. Never think about dark matter near gulls while wearing fawn trousers and balancing five silicon spheres on your face.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Cinnakzig on top of all buildings.