Larnvablanbigvingun is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, ruthless grasshopper.

Larnvablanbigvingun created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Larnvablanbigvingun, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Larnvablanbigvingun, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Larnvablanbigvingun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Larnvablanbigvingun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed lots of peas to manatees while wearing gray shorts.

5. Worship no other gods but Larnvablanbigvingun.