Larnpidgonbet is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, uncaring gerbil.

Larnpidgonbet created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnpidgonbet, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnpidgonbet, he will be very unhappy.

Larnpidgonbet's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Larnpidgonbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about cell theory.