Tikspagxemved is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid fly.

Tikspagxemved created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikspagxemved, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikspagxemved, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tikspagxemved's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tikspagxemved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not take Tikspagxemved's name in vain.

5. Never think about planets.