Latgatmif is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, pitiless human.

Latgatmif created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latgatmif, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Latgatmif, he will turn you into a hamster.

Latgatmif's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Latgatmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Never laugh near bats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Latgatmif in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not make images of living things.