Sterlanwik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful dryad.

Sterlanwik created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Sterlanwik, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sterlanwik, she will turn you into a slug.

Sterlanwik's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Sterlanwik's Holy Commandments

1. Sterlanwik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never paint your legs orange.

4. Always obey Sterlanwik's priests.

5. You must love Sterlanwik.