Cudgofyak is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, sapient seal.

Cudgofyak created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudgofyak, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cudgofyak, she will laugh at you.

Cudgofyak's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Cudgofyak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink stockings.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Fast once a month.

4. You must love Cudgofyak.

5. Always treat birds with great respect.