Fotvidcad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, compassionate faun.

Fotvidcad created the Tadpole Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotvidcad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fotvidcad, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fotvidcad's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Fotvidcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Learn five new languages a year.