Kennigflistig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, temperamental manatee.

Kennigflistig created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Kennigflistig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kennigflistig, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kennigflistig's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Kennigflistig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Kennigflistig on top of important buildings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

5. You must pray to Kennigflistig five times a day.