Kapwegdab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, vain guinea pig.

Kapwegdab created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapwegdab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kapwegdab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Kapwegdab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kapwegdab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink water in white rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Pray towards the west.