Sablintun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic human.

Sablintun created water eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sablintun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sablintun, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sablintun's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sablintun's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Sablintun's priests.

2. Never think about optics near moths while wearing indigo boots and balancing seven platinum spheres on your feet.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sablintun.

4. Do not keep eight great tits in a large pit.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.