Himhanbess is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, passionate porpoise.

Himhanbess created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Himhanbess, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Himhanbess, she will turn you into a tree.

Himhanbess' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Himhanbess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near geese while wearing yellow stockings and balancing eight copper spheres on your face.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.