Sadtommad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, unsympathetic narwhal.

Sadtommad created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sadtommad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sadtommad, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sadtommad's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Sadtommad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sadtommad's name in vain.

2. Do not kill manatees.

3. Never talk about enzymes.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. You must love Sadtommad.