Listdidmid is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, loving lobster.

Listdidmid created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Listdidmid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Listdidmid, it will make you grow a tail.

Listdidmid's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Listdidmid's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Never feed aubergines to otters while wearing ear rings.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.