Targbonkbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, smart otter.

Targbonkbiss created life four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targbonkbiss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Targbonkbiss, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Targbonkbiss' most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Targbonkbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never feed lots of rice to gulls while wearing white hats.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always help birds.

5. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Targbonkbiss in the centre of the settlement.