Somtarpgep is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish sheep.

Somtarpgep created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Somtarpgep, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Somtarpgep, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Somtarpgep's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Somtarpgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near dogs.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never eat aubergines.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never feed grapes to bats while wearing cyan kilts.