Yikstafteen is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent snake.

Yikstafteen created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yikstafteen, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yikstafteen, it will boil you in a big pot.

Yikstafteen's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Yikstafteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never hop in the presence of eagles.

4. Yikstafteen loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Always take life seriously.