Parkmilcibkip is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless cow.

Parkmilcibkip created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkmilcibkip, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Parkmilcibkip, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Parkmilcibkip's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Parkmilcibkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. You must love Parkmilcibkip.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Parkmilcibkip.