Nancemdad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unjust dryad.

Nancemdad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nancemdad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nancemdad, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nancemdad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nancemdad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Nancemdad.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nancemdad.

5. Do not cook food in pots.