Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humane bear.

Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing white trousers and balancing three nickel spheres on your legs.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Hide from orange swans for they are unholy.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarptifbomdumkadfontiflit.