Cipjenhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, merciful goblin.

Cipjenhiv created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipjenhiv, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cipjenhiv, it will destroy your favourite star.

Cipjenhiv's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Cipjenhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.