Habzagmeg Bellspagril is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fussy crane.

Habzagmeg Bellspagril created the planet Mars seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Habzagmeg Bellspagril, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Habzagmeg Bellspagril, she will turn you into a dog.

Habzagmeg Bellspagril's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Habzagmeg Bellspagril's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Habzagmeg Bellspagril loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Habzagmeg Bellspagril must be the most important thing in your life.