Rotyokpom is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing spider.

Rotyokpom created time and space three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rotyokpom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rotyokpom, she will send you a sign.

Rotyokpom's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Rotyokpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Never talk about sharks.