Jopfligrat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humane salamander.

Jopfligrat created an electron four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopfligrat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jopfligrat, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jopfligrat's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Jopfligrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never paint your arms pink.