Tonominyam is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, tranquil octopus.

Tonominyam created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonominyam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonominyam, he will destroy your home solar system.

Tonominyam's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tonominyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Never eat limes.

5. Do not keep nine cats in a large pit.