Botgenmapben is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless cobra.

Botgenmapben created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botgenmapben, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Botgenmapben, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Botgenmapben's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Botgenmapben's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three otters approach from the west.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Do not eat strawberries.