Vonkrillpin is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witty troll.

Vonkrillpin created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkrillpin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vonkrillpin, she will have a low opinion of you.

Vonkrillpin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Vonkrillpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dogs.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear yellow dresses.