Flatgupsog is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish gorilla.

Flatgupsog created time and space six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatgupsog, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flatgupsog, he will turn you into a sheep.

Flatgupsog's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Flatgupsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away if nine snails approach from the north.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Do not commit murder.