Gepyartmis Mumjapfit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent swan.

Gepyartmis Mumjapfit created water eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepyartmis Mumjapfit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gepyartmis Mumjapfit, he will destroy your favourite star.

Gepyartmis Mumjapfit's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gepyartmis Mumjapfit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Fast once a month.