Nabsandflig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, temperamental alligator.

Nabsandflig created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabsandflig, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nabsandflig, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nabsandflig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nabsandflig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Nabsandflig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not kill pigs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not hurt cats.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nabsandflig.