Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unthinking squirrel.

Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. You must pray to Japbughogmadnutfedquamciss nine times a day.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always pray immersed in water.