Ontnilhub is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, benevolent dolphin.

Ontnilhub created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontnilhub, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontnilhub, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ontnilhub's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Ontnilhub's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Always help sick eagles.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Sharks are not to be trusted.