Garnurvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, merciful wombat.

Garnurvonk created energy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Garnurvonk, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Garnurvonk, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Garnurvonk's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Garnurvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five gulls approach from the west.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Garnurvonk in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.