Larndodwipkap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless toad.

Larndodwipkap created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Larndodwipkap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Larndodwipkap, she will turn you into a rat.

Larndodwipkap's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Larndodwipkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doves are not to be trusted.

4. Do not kill frogs.

5. Never bounce in the presence of capybaras.