Zagruttsom is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, annoying hydra.

Zagruttsom created gold eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagruttsom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zagruttsom, she will turn you into a worm.

Zagruttsom's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Zagruttsom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never mention badgers.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never eat tomatoes.