Flapladpod is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful giraffe.

Flapladpod created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapladpod, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flapladpod, it will turn you into a plant.

Flapladpod's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Flapladpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to porpoises while wearing shoes.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never paint your chest purple.

5. Never eat bark.