Tarlimgeb Linbif is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, kind centipede.

Tarlimgeb Linbif created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarlimgeb Linbif, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarlimgeb Linbif, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tarlimgeb Linbif's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tarlimgeb Linbif's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near eagles while wearing brown corsets and balancing five carbon spheres on your chest.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.