Zedbotjam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing hippopotamus.

Zedbotjam created the Milkyway three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedbotjam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zedbotjam, he will turn you into a mole.

Zedbotjam's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zedbotjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never talk about moons.