Beportmob is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, moody hummingbird.

Beportmob created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Beportmob, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Beportmob, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Beportmob's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Beportmob's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Beportmob.

2. Never wear scarves.

3. Never eat gooseberries.

4. Always help sick moths.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.