Quartfundog Himponboss is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, awesome mole.

Quartfundog Himponboss created the Virgo Supercluster nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartfundog Himponboss, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quartfundog Himponboss, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Quartfundog Himponboss' most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Quartfundog Himponboss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured horses.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.