Bimquartyimcepfobsid is a god.

He takes the form of a small, confident hare.

Bimquartyimcepfobsid created a down quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bimquartyimcepfobsid, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bimquartyimcepfobsid, he will torture you forever.

Bimquartyimcepfobsid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bimquartyimcepfobsid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Bimquartyimcepfobsid loves manatees, so they must be respected.

3. Bimquartyimcepfobsid must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about porpoises.