Gigflamwig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, pitiless squid.

Gigflamwig created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigflamwig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gigflamwig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Gigflamwig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gigflamwig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight eagles approach from the west.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never hurt hamsters.

5. You must pray to Gigflamwig seven times a day.