Tonflanquill is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, irritating hamster.

Tonflanquill created the Black Eye Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Tonflanquill, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tonflanquill, it will turn you into a worm.

Tonflanquill's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tonflanquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. You must never eat onions.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

5. Do not take Tonflanquill's name in vain.